Heavily Burdened

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25th April 2016

I came [to Mahanaim] desperate to encounter God, heavily burdened about people and situations – desperate for breakthrough.  I thought I would sob it all out at His feet, but what actually happened was God’s manifest presence meant I laughed pretty much non-stop through the whole thing.  This has never happened to me before but I was laughing with such relief because I realised all my worries were so tiny, I pretty much heard an audible voice with such joy saying ‘I know everything you are worried about and I am not worried!’.

I found my own ridiculousness compared to Him hilarious and had such delight in His presence and vastness – and in realising how immediate and present He is, and what He really thinks about me, and how He delights in me, and how much I know His ways.  So much was shaken off and I laughed so much my ribs hurt for a whole week.  I was drunk in the spirit for days and my head was literally spinning!

I have been deeply changed forever – or rather brought back to my forgotten true self by this time, I will never forget it.